Humour, Life, Parenting, poetry

Lies I Tell My Children

When I planned to be a parent I thought I had it sussed, And I’d never need to tell them lies: Turns out, it’s a must! Some lies that I tell them are To make their lives more fun. And some are for my benefit As their knackered, desperate mum. “Yes there is a Santa… Continue reading Lies I Tell My Children

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Life, Parenting

There’s No Epidural For Motherhood.

Lots of first time mothers (and fathers) are frightened of childbirth. I can’t blame them, in all honesty; in fact, I was them. Pre-splashdown, the thought of pushing an actual human out of my nethers was pretty low down on my list of Things That Sound Like Fun. Right down there underneath being Katie Hopkins… Continue reading There’s No Epidural For Motherhood.

Life, Parenting

Audley End House and Gardens

Address: Off London Road, Saffron Walden, Essex, CB11 4JF Website: Here We're frequent visitors to Audley End. The kids absolutely love it, and now we have English Heritage Membership, so entry is free for us. (Prices here) There is enough to do to last a whole day, and loads of space to run around. I'd… Continue reading Audley End House and Gardens

Life, Parenting

Hyperemesis Gravadarum – Yes, I’ve Tried Ginger.

Laura Bourne explains the horror of HG, and explains how 'helpful' advice just makes her sick. “Have you tried ginger?” the midwife asked, not even glancing up from my notes. A thousand responses tripped to the tip of my tongue. Have I tried ginger? Well, yes. Obviously. I’ve tried it in tea. And in weirdly… Continue reading Hyperemesis Gravadarum – Yes, I’ve Tried Ginger.

Humour, Life, Parenting

The School Run – the Inevitable Truths.

We’re two days into the school runs of a new half term, and already I am feeling, well, pissed off, frankly. And having exchanged a number of empathetic glances/sighs/expletives with my school run compadres as I mum-run along towards the closing-because-we’re-late gate with small people, buggies, book-bags, change bags and assorted paraphernalia, I conclude that… Continue reading The School Run – the Inevitable Truths.

Life

Valentine’s day is rubbish. Here’s why…

Valentine’s day sucks because it is profoundly depressing. Adults buying other adults cuddly toys and heart-shaped tat is depressing. Making a half-arsed effort to tell the person who puts up with your crap and loves you all year long that you love them, in someone else’s words, on this one day, because you walked past… Continue reading Valentine’s day is rubbish. Here’s why…